


A Chance to Live Twice

by silvain



Category: Mamma Mia! (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Flash Forward, I had a weird idea for how to get the dads back to Kalokairi by 1980 and had to write it, M/M, Multi, Sort Of, Visions, i'm not entirely sure yet, this might end up in a weird poly cuddlepile or it might just be sam/donna and bill/harry, unusual usage of greek mythology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-07-01 19:03:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15780186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvain/pseuds/silvain
Summary: Sometimes fate has a whole new plan for you. And in early October of 1979, three men find fate leading them back to an island, and showing them a whole new way to build a life.---------------Alternately:The Fates give Sam, Bill, and Harry a glimpse into their canon lives, over two decades of memory dumped on them at once and then taken away, leaving them all with little more than a powerful urge to return to Kalokairi, and an instinctive fondness for each other borne of the five years of friendship between the movies combined with their existing natural affinity for each other. But they can't help but wonder how they understand each other so well, and begin pulling at the gap in their minds, trying to find what they've lost.Why have the Fates decided to change the course of their lives? And why do so in a way that lets them see what they could've done, once they pull and prod at their lost memory enough? Harry and Bill, at least, are determined to find out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from ABBA's Lovers (Live A Little Longer). The old womens' lines are from ABBA's People Need Love.
> 
> I haven't entirely settled on what the end of the story will look like- knowing what I like, there's a chance this will end in some sort of polycule instead of just the ships listed. Also, rating may change depending on how much of the inevitable sex these dorks will be having makes it onto the page. I'm not sure if I'll write any of the sex, but we'll see.

New York was loud, and busy, and a little overwhelming still, even after being back for over a month. He'd come out here for school, never meaning to stay, and then Lorraine had gotten ahold of him, and job offers happened, and the blinding terror of a future he hadn't had a hand in choosing- and yet, he'd come back. Sam wondered sometimes what was wrong with him, to have come back even though he still didn't want to be here.

He especially wondered right now, as he rushed through a crowd to try and reach the church before he made himself any later. Lorraine was going to kill him if the wedding got held up because he'd gotten distracted drawing again. He'd already had to throw what he'd drawn in a restaraunt's dumpster so she wouldn't see it, he didn't need his day getting worse just because he'd spent half an hour getting the curve of Donna's cheekbone right before he realized what the time was.

A hand gripped his arm, surprisingly firmly for the age of it. He turned to see three elderly women, and the one in the middle of the group dressed in white and smiling at him as she clutched his arm.

"Gotta have love to carry on living," she whispered, almost sing-song.

"Gotta have love 'till eternity," the other two joined in, their voices melding in a way that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

Sam pulled his arm out of her grip, backing away and glancing around to see if anyone had seen that, but when he looked back at the three women, they were gone.

\-------

"'Have you ever thought about writing about all these great adventures you're having?'" Bill quoted exasperatedly. Donna had said that to him the day before he left Kalokairi, and it had stuck in his mind so thoroughly that he was currently at a restaraunt in Spain, scribbling down his thoughts on various places he'd been and just about tearing his hair out. "It isn't as easy as it sounds, Donna," he muttered to himself.

A hand clapped down on his shoulder, and he looked up to find three women standing over him, all at least as old as his great-aunt. The one holding onto his shoulder leaned in, her white dress billowing a little in the slight breeze as she got close enough to whisper in his ear. The other two also leaned toward him, though not as closely.

"People need faith and a helping hand," they hummed in unison.

"What?" he replied, glancing down at his notes. The pressure on his shoulder disappeared, and when he looked back up a second later, the women were gone.

\-------

Harry hummed to himself as he walked, the tune to Waterloo running through his mind as fresh as if his spontaneous song and dance had happened yesterday, though it had been months ago. He was glad he'd finally made it down to see Donna before the summer was out- he'd given her the guitar and the lyrics for Waterloo, where he'd written them down the day after she left. It seemed like it would suit the band she said she had, and after all, he'd composed it on the spot for her, why shouldn't she have it? And then they'd spent the better part of the end of August enjoying each other's company, singing and dancing and exploring Kalokairi, before Harry had had to return to Paris for his final year of school. Which he was now a full month into, October having snuck up on him while he was still basking in the warm feelings the summer had left him with.

He had time to get breakfast before he was due anywhere, so he stepped into a cafe, contemplating what he could eat and still have time to get to class, and in his distraction, ran directly into an older woman in a long, flowing white dress. She grabbed his wrist, smiling at him in a way that could only be described as unnerving. The two women on either side of her smiled as well, and the overall effect of it had Harry beginning to worry about his lifespan, and the chances of it suddenly ending.

"Flowers in a desert need a drop of rain," the three women sang, their voices together almost sounding like one single, unearthly voice.

"I don't understand..?" he replied, shutting his eyes to stop seeing the strangeness of their smiles. When he opened them again, his hand was free of her grip, and all three women were gone.

\-------

Sam stared into the mirror in the little dressing room he'd been given, his hands shaking as he tried to make the bowtie of his tux function. Behind him, his younger brother- and best man- was pulling on the jacket of his own tux.

"How hard can a bowtie _be_ , Sammie? Do we need to find you a clip on behind Lorraine's back? Because I can do that, but you're never living it down."

"I'm fine," Sam replied, undoing it and breathing deeply before trying again.

Suddenly his vision went dark, the room blurring away from him as his mind began playing scenes that had never happened- and yet, he knew somehow that they had. A tiny boy with blue eyes and auburn hair, watching Lorraine intently as she placed a baby into a crib. A promotion, various designs spread across a very nice desk, Sam's name on an office in the best architecture firm in New York. Two boys growing, dark auburn hair and lopsided grins. Divorce papers, a custody battle, and Lorraine throwing a fit worse than he'd ever seen from her. A wedding invitation, a boat and new friends and finally returning to Kalokairi after two decades away. A daughter, smart and beautiful and talented, and a little bit devious, to have invited them the way she did. He liked that about her. Donna avoiding him, singing to him of her heartbreak, and finally hearing him out. The weddding he actually wanted, even if it was impulsive, dramatic, and entirely absurd. Running the villa with Donna, like he'd always wanted. Finally being home.

And as quickly as it came, the memories of another life all faded from his mind, leaving in their place a powerful tugging feeling, a sense that he _needed_  to return to Kalokairi one more time. He leaned against the wall next to the mirror, one hand bracing him, suddenly out of breath.

"You don't look fine, Sam," his brother pointed out quietly. "If you need some air, now's the time to-"

"I can't do this. Tell Lorraine- tell her... tell her something. I don't know. I have to get out of here," Sam interrupted.

"Where are you gonna _go_?"

"Back to Greece. _Don't_ tell Lorraine that." He paused, then added, "I don't think I'm coming back this time. If I'm lucky, I'll be staying there. I'll let you know."

"You said that _last time_ ," his brother muttered. "If you're really gonna do this, you'd probably better stay out there longer even if it goes badly. Lorraine'll probably kill you if you come back heartbroken over some other girl _again_."

"I know," Sam replied, handing the failed bowtie to his brother and moving to leave the room. "Let everyone know I'm sorry they came out for nothing, will you? I swear I didn't mean for it to go like this."

His brother nodded, taking a deep breath to steel himself. "I'll deal with Lorraine and the guests. Get going, and hurry, before someone sees you."

"You're the best," Sam replied as he slipped out of the room, carefully making his way out of the church and into the crowds of the city. He flagged down a taxi to take him back to the apartment, hoping he could pack his suitcases with everything that mattered before Lorraine could find him.

\-------

Bill had given up on writing after the strange old women had appeared, instead digging into his dinner in the hopes that he could refrain from any further strange hallucinations once he'd eaten. Probably he just hadn't been eating enough lately. Or at least, he hoped that was what that had been. The other options were all weirder or worse, and he didn't want to think about them.

His food was half finished and his fork halfway to his mouth with another bite when his vision went dark, memories filtering into his mind from a life he hadn't yet led- the ocean, ever-present, and all sorts of beautiful men and women on his boat and in his bed. Botswana, Egypt, Rome, various cities and wildernesses across Europe and Africa, with a few elsewhere, and books slowly coming together about each- travel journals, carefully crafted logs of his adventures that made everything sound more amazing than it was, a difficult feat when he found it all to be incredible already. A life of never sitting still, never settling down, and never letting anyone in- until an invitation came, leading him to his own daughter's wedding, and two new friends that he bonded with instantly, and a relationship with Donna's friend Rosie. He didn't know how he felt about that, not now or in this strange future he saw. But he knew it had happened.

And then, just as suddenly, he didn't. All he knew now was that Kalokairi was calling him back. It did that to people, he knew, but he'd never felt a pull like this before. He shook himself, sitting up straighter, and grinned. Time for another adventure.

\-------

Harry had settled into a table at the back of the cafe, his back to the wall as he dug into his crepe. He'd missed France while he was in Greece, and now, if he was honest with himself, he missed Greece here in France, and underlying it all, deep down he mostly just missed London. He'd been tempted to put off school for a year, or at least part of one, and let Donna talk him into following his heart and starting a band himself, but he'd never been brave enough for the stage, really. All of his bravest moments these days had been about Donna, anyway, even the little ones like when she convinced him to try on some eyeliner, or buy the collar he'd seen in a corner of Kalokairi's little market. He still wore both, even though he'd gotten odd looks in class. Because she'd thought they suited him, and that made him brave enough to keep them.

He'd known by the end of August that, as much as he loved her, they weren't meant for each other. She didn't see him that way, really, and he... well. He'd discovered that it really was utterly exceptional that he'd found her attractive, as the shores of Kalokairi had held far more to fascinate him than he'd ever have been willing to admit before. He remembered one afternoon, walking along the beach with her, and losing the thread of the conversation entirely as his eyes traced a path along the chest of a young greek man, possibly a little older than him. Donna had laughed when she realized, and then explained about her own interest in both men and women when Harry had flinched from her laughter.

He finished his breakfast and moved to stand, but found his vision suddenly going dark and flashes of memory of someone else's life- no, his own life, but not yet- filling his vision. London, and a nice home, and a bank job, all as expected. _Boring_ , but not unexpectedly so. Two dogs, lovely little menaces, and a housekeeper he trusted implicitly. Year after year of the same thing, and no family to speak of save what he already had- well, and the dogs. Loneliness. And then an invitation, and a daughter, and an almost-son-in-law, and a beautiful Greek boy again, because how could he resist? And the knowledge that it wouldn't last beyond the party, really, but that was fun in it's own way. And a handsome writer with a boat that was deeply, deeply unavailable by the time Harry had any chance of working up the nerve. Because of course.

His vision cleared, and he forgot everything he'd seen, save for the deep longing for Kalokairi that lingered in his soul. He shook his head and stood, smiling down at the table for a moment and adjusting his leather jacket. It was time he did something spontaneous.

\-------

Bill had docked near the ferry on the mainland to grab lunch on the way to Kalokairi, the day after his strange hallucination, despite the persistent feeling that he was missing something about this whole situation. Or possibly just that something was missing, he wasn't sure. Nevertheless, he'd eaten at a little restaraunt, grabbed some extra fruit for the journey from the nearest market- slinging a tied off bag of peaches over his shoulder, one still in his hand in case he wanted to snack- and headed back to the docks. Where he found two handsome men shouting insults at the rapidly departing ferry- one of them wearing a leather jacket and some sort of studded collar, and the other in jeans and a t-shirt with the ends of the sleeves rolled.

"It does that to people a lot," he observes as he approaches the pair. "If you're heading to Kalokairi, I'm on my way there myself, actually." He points out his boat, taking a bite of the peach he had left from lunch. "You're welcome to come."

The one in the leather jacket snorted, smiling at him. "Wish you'd been here the last time I came down- it took weeks before I managed to catch the ferry in time!"

"Oof. Bad luck, that," the other muttered as they all climbed onto Bill's boat, "but at least the mainland is nice enough, I suppose."

"Well, that's a ringing endorsement if I ever heard one," Bill laughed. "What's wrong with the mainland, then?"

"Nothing!" he replied.

"It's lovely!" Jacket Guy added, almost overlapping their responses.

"It's just that Kalokairi is..." he rocked back on his heels, thinking, and a lopsided grin stole across his face. "It's paradise. It's the most beautiful place in the world."

Bill laughed again. "Well, you're not wrong. But there are other beautiful places- even in mainland Greece!" He started preparing to set sail, grinning at the other two men. "I'd have a very boring life if I let the beauty of one island keep me from seeing the beauty everywhere else."

"You know," Jacket Guy said slowly, as both men settled in to sit on the deck out of Bill's way, "that's a pretty good point. Anyway, thank you for taking us to the island. I'm afraid I didn't get your name?"

"Oh! Bill- Bill Anderson. Nice to meet you," Bill replied, not looking up as he was halfway through adjusting a sail.

"Harry Bright," Jacket Guy- Harry- replied, "but my friends call me Headbanger. Well. One friend does. Which is close enough, I think."

The other man, the one with the lopsided smile and the rolled sleeves, started laughing and slung an arm around Harry's shoulders. "Nice to meet you, Headbanger. I'm Sam."

"No last name, Sam?" Bill joked.

"Carmichael," Sam replied, still grinning. "So what are you heading to Kalokairi for?"

"Felt like dropping by. You?"

"Ah... I may have run away from my wedding."

"Usually you hear about the _bride_  doing that," Harry pointed out, leaning playfully into Sam's side, as Sam's arm was still over his shoulders. "A runaway groom is a bit unexpected."

"She wasn't the girl that I'm actually in love with. Long story," Sam replied. "What about you, Harry?"

"Just... felt drawn back, I suppose. I'll catch hell for it later, of course- I ran out on school, and after running out on my internship this summer for the same thing, my father's going to have my head when I go home... But I feel like it's worth it."

Sam reached up with the arm around Harry's shoulders and ruffled his hair. "Oh, it is. This island is the best place in the world. You been to the little bar before, up near the market? There's a chance you caught my girl singing- well. Or the owner singing, which is less of a transcendant experience but still pretty good."

"You think _Hector_ 's good? God, he really has found people to indulge him finally. I thought my aunt was kidding," Bill replied.

"Your aunt?" Harry asked, still leaning into Sam's easy affection while Bill kept the boat on course.

"My great-aunt, actually- Sofia, she runs the bar for him. Because if my idiot cousin hired a bartender, he'd go broke," Bill explained, laughing, "since the only time they pull a crowd in that bar is when Donna's singing."

Sam looked up sharply at that. "You know Donna?"

Bill glanced over at him, grinning, and jumped down to man the wheel. "Well enough, yeah. We spent some time together this summer, and I was the one that sailed her over to the island to begin with."

Harry glanced back and forth between the two of them, frowning. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say we probably _all_ know the same Donna- she's a... good friend of mine, I suppose, even though we really only spent a day or so together in Paris and the back half of August on Kalokairi. She's the one that told me about this place."

Sam stood up suddenly at that, walking to the bow of the ship. He huffed, rubbing a hand over his face and watching the water for a moment, before turning back to the other two. "If you both know her- I know she'd moved on by the time I made it back this summer, but-" he cut himself off, shaking his head. "I suppose you can't answer without the whole story, can you?"

"Answer what?" Harry murmured under his breath, eyebrows raised as he watched Sam begin to pace around the bow of the boat.

"I came out here this summer to clear my head. I had... everything ahead of me planned out, mostly by other people, and an engagement I was rapidly beginning to regret with a wedding set for fall. I told Donna... most of that. Including that I'd only planned to be on Kalokairi a week before going back to my planned out life," Sam began.

Bill nodded, paying almost as much attention to the story as to his sailing. He was beginning to get an inkling of why Donna had been so sad at the beginning of August.

"I stayed two and a half weeks. Because of Donna, but also because I meant to stay forever. I thought it would work out better if Lorraine- my ex-fiance, that is- thought I'd just disappeared on her. She's, uh. Posessive. But." He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face again.

"What went wrong?" Harry asked- though he suspected he knew the answer, given some of what Donna had told him about her summer when he'd come down in August. She hadn't given him names or details, but there'd been a few rants about men who weren't forthcoming about their existing commitments.

"I hadn't told Donna I'd been- I was- engaged. She found a picture of Lorraine and I that I didn't even realize I'd _had_. It.... didn't go well when she confronted me. I thought the best chance I had was to go end things with Lorraine officially and come back, but when I came back, I was told Donna had moved on, and that this was... what I deserved." He sighed. "Probably right. But. You both know her- Harry, you were here after that, even- do I have _any_  chance? I love her more than anything in the world."

"She wasn't dating anyone when I was here, if that's what you mean- but I can't say if she'll forgive you," Harry replied. "She was... pretty angry at you and possibly at men in general. I got the feeling I was the exception because I was willing to listen to her ranting about how terrible lying bastards are. That's a relatively direct quote, mind."

"She told me that men are pigs," Bill replied with a grin. "I'm guessing it wasn't long after you left- if someone said she'd moved on, it might've been that they saw her with me? We flirt like crazy, but we _mostly_ don't mean anything by it." Bill winked.

Sam laughed. "Right," he replied disbelievingly, though he sounded more amused than jealous. "You definitely don't mean anything by it."

"Well, no more than I mean when I flirt with anyone... and I flirt with almost everyone."

"I suspect you're a menace to hearts everywhere," Harry pointed out.

"And pants," Bill replied, shooting Harry his most charming grin, which gave him the pleasure of seeing the handsome punk blush and look away.

"Moved on is starting to sound more like a rebound at most," Sam muttered to himself, hopeful but still rolling his eyes at Bill's antics. He sat back down next to Harry, shoulder to shoulder, and sighed.

Harry bumped his shoulder against Sam's. "She was still angry last I saw her, but she missed you. Trust me."

"Well," Sam replied with a slightly shaky grin, "it can't hurt to try."

\------- 

Bill carefully made sure the boat was safely docked, and the three of them made their way onto the island, Harry leading them. The two of them had agreed to come with Sam to find Donna, as they both were hoping to see her themselves. It helped, a little, having them there, though Sam couldn't pinpoint why, or why he'd liked them both instantly. It was almost like he _knew_  them, the way they'd gotten along on the boat.

"Last time I was here, she was staying in an abandoned farmhouse- she's probably still there, or if she's not, we could leave a note for her? She might be at that bar, though," Harry explained as they walked.

Aside from a few comments, they walked mostly in silence- a sharp contrast to the playful atmosphere on the boat, there was an anticipatory quiet as they approached the farmhouse. Finally, it came into sight, and with it, Donna, up on a ladder working on repairing something.

"Hello!" Harry called out as they approached.

"Harry!" Donna replied, not looking away from her work. "I thought you had to get back to school? Hang on, I'll be down in a second."

"School was boring me," Harry joked as Donna descended the ladder, turning finally to see the three of them standing there.

"Sam?" Donna asked shakily, her voice barely above a whisper. Suddenly she held a hand up, the other covering her mouth, and she bolted inside.

\-------

Donna made it to the bathroom, bending over the toilet the way she had almost every day since the morning sickness had started, and ignoring the footsteps behind her.

"I've got you, you're okay," Sam murmured softly above her, crouching down and pulling back her hair before it could fall into the toilet bowl as she emptied her stomach _again_  today. This was beginning to get exhausting. At least she'd kept something down yesterday, but puking daily was not a fun experience. She tried to focus on the annoyance at her body, and not on the gentle way Sam had immediately begun taking care of her. Annoyance she could deal with. Sam was another story.

Donna groaned, trying to push off of the toilet to stand, and Sam wraped an arm around her to help her up, his hand at her waist just finding the new curve of her belly, subtle though it is. He steadied her as she stood, unable to resist stroking his thumb along her side.

"Better?" he asked.

She nodded, wiping at her mouth, and stepped away from him.

"I'm guessing that's not the flu," he said, that damn charming grin of his stealing across his face as his eyes dropped briefly to her stomach.

"Not unless it lasts for weeks, I'm afraid." She laughed, a little bitterly. "What are you doing here, Sam?"

He doesn't answer, staring at her for a moment as though he's not sure where to start- long enough that Harry and Bill have come up behind him.

"Donna," Harry said, concern lacing his voice. "Are you alright?"

Donna sighed, trying to resist the urge to lean into Sam's shoulder. "Fine. Just pregnant."

Sam was still smiling at her like a man handed all the riches in the universe, but behind him, Bill and Harry had both gone very, very still before glancing at each other and then back at Sam, clearly communicating something without words. Donna wondered when the three of them had met, for them to be this close.

"How far along?" Harry asked quietly, as though he suspected the answer already, and the implications of it. Maybe he did- she had no idea what Bill might've told him, but clearly Sam had told them both at least something about his relationship with her.

"I'm not entirely sure- what is it, October eleventh now? So... between eight and twelve weeks, I guess? Probably eight to ten or so, realistically," she replied, sighing. "Early August, or late July at the earliest. So, yes, possibly exactly what you're thinking."

Sam frowned at that, glancing back at the other two. He looked between them for a moment, then rolled his eyes. "Really?" he huffed. "There are these things called condoms, you know, Bill, you might maybe have heard of them sometime in your attempts to sleep with the entire population of the Mediterranean?"

Donna watched, surprised, as Bill laughed, slinging an arm over Sam's shoulders- Sam was laughing too, just a little, like he was only giving Bill shit about this for the fun of it. Like he didn't mind, almost.

"We ran out, and when you're a good ways offshore, sailing back for condoms kind of ruins the mood," Bill replied, pulling Sam away from her and giving her a little room to get out of the bathroom. "Besides, what's _your_  excuse? You were together less than a month!"

"Hey, I was serious about her- she's my soulmate, you jackass," Sam replied, still grinning. "And anyway, you know, heat of the moment. And a lot of days where we barely left the bed."

"Are the two of you really going to joke about this with me standing right here?" Donna replied, trying to sound annoyed with them. She was pretty sure it came out amused, though- she couldn't help but feel delighted to hear Sam calling her his soulmate. Like he'd come back for her. She wasn't quite ready to trust him yet, but she wanted to.

"He's a terrible influence, Donna, where did you even find him?" Sam replied, smiling at her.

She rolled her eyes, trying not to smile back. "On a dock on the mainland, strangely enough. You didn't answer- what are you doing here, Sam? Why come back?"

His smile softened, turning almost wistful. "This is where I belong. Even if you can't ever forgive me for not telling you about Lorraine, this island is- it's where I need to be. I know it sounds stupid and irrational but I can feel it in my soul, Donna," he replied. "I'm not leaving again."

"Sam," she said quietly.

"And I'm here, if you want me," he added.

"I don't know yet," she replied shakily. "Give me time?"

"As much as you need."

She nodded, trying to hold herself together as she pushed past him to head back outside, leaving the three of them in the farmhouse.

\-------

"I feel like I should confess something," Harry said, sounding nervous, once Donna had left. "And I'm hoping you'll take it as well as you've been taking things so far..."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, frowning.

"Bill isn't the only one Donna was involved with after you left," Harry explained, looking sheepish. "And we were... similarly negligent with protection."

Sam's eyebrows shot to his hairline, or at least he thought they must've, because he'd had no idea Harry was- well. He'd assumed, and he knew he shouldn't have, that the way Harry dressed combined with the fascinated way he watched Bill move meant Harry was _only_ interested in men. Given his own tastes, Sam felt he should've known better- no one ever expected Sam's interest in men, he should know better than to trust the way someone looks to reveal their sexuality.

Harry didn't seem to have followed the storm of thoughts in Sam's head, however. "To be fair, we kept ending up in remote parts of the island and finding I didn't have any on me... And Bill's right, going back and buying some would absolutely have killed the mood. Still, I feel a bit foolish _now_ , even though- well. I'd be delighted if the kid's mine. I'd have to rearrange my life a little, but... I'm so..." Harry explained, rambling a little. He rubbed the back of his head. "I'm so awkward, and life is what it is, and it isn't all that likely that I'll have a family otherwise. So it'd be nice."

"I'm sure you could find someone, Harry," Sam said gently. "But I get it. It's a hell of a feeling, knowing you might be a dad. God, that kid's gonna be amazing, no matter which of us is the dad."

"No question about that- any kid with Donna's genes would be incredible," Bill replied quietly, his arm tightening around Sam's shoulders. Sam leaned into him, sensing that Bill could use a little comfort right now. He didn't know how he knew that, but he knew Bill well enough somehow to be certain of it. "I hope she gives you a chance, Sam. Especially if the kid's mine- I don't know how to be... any of what that kid needs, let alone what Donna might need from her kid's father. I'll try, but... it's just so much to deal with."

Harry reached over and rubbed Bill's shoulder. "You'd be fine, you know. But I was thinking- and we should suggest this to Donna of course, but- what if we don't find out? What if we just.... all step up, to whatever degree we're able to, and let Donna decide how much to tell the kid, eventually? Leave it up to her whether the baby sees you and I as fathers, or just Sam- because of course she's going to give you a chance, the way she looked at you says everything- and just... be there for Donna and the baby regardless."

"I like it," Sam said quietly. He reached out and pulled Harry in, so that all three of them were hugging. "It's probably a really stupid plan, but I like it. They say it takes a village, you know- it couldn't hurt to suggest it to Donna, at least."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who aren't neck deep in Greek mythology books (no, really, I have a problem), the three old women are the Fates, and the one in white is responsible for everything between birth and death- and therefore got to take the lead on fixing these boys' problems. I swear I'm doing something more with this, I just don't know how much yet.
> 
> Also, if there's any young, inexperienced folks reading this- for god's sake, don't emulate the boys' attitudes towards condoms. That's how you end up with a baby. As evidenced by this entire situation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god this took forever and I am very, very sorry. I've had this chapter nearly finished for over a month now, but the last scene or so was fighting me and wouldn't stop until I tried writing a section from Harry's perspective (the first one since they all met up!).
> 
> Also, as usual, this is unbeta'd, if you spot any major spelling, grammar, or formatting issues, please tell me. It's better on my sanity if someone spots it in the first day than if I go to reread my own fic and spot it two weeks after it's been posted... XD

Bill pulled Harry aside as Sam headed out to explain their idea to Donna.

"I know you said I'd be alright as a dad, but Harry, I really don't think- I don't know about this," he began, leaning against the wall in an out-of-the-way corner of the farmhouse. Harry settled in next to him, leaning against the other wall of the corner, within arm's reach. "I'm terrified. Hell, just admitting I'm terrified is- I don't _talk_  about things-"

Harry nodded, touching Bill's shoulder gently. "I know," he replied, smiling softly and encouragingly at Bill. "I can't explain how I know- I don't know how I know- but I know you, you know? And I know you're scared, that you think you'll mess up somehow, and that you don't want kids because caring about anyone for more than a night scares you."

" _Fan!_ " Bill swore in Swedish, rubbing his hands over his face. "You're right. I don't know- I can't explain why you know me so well, but I know you just as much, I'm sure of it, and you're _right_."

"More importantly, I know you'll be _fine_. You're- you will be- good with..." Harry trailed off, shaking his head as if to clear it. "I feel like there's something in my head that's just out of reach that would explain things. But I can't find it, and I know you'll be a good father, and that's what matters, not- whatever's going on in my head..."

Bill frowned for a moment, trying to puzzle out the gap in his own mind. "Have you blacked out recently?"

"Yesterday morning," Harry answered, "there were- three strange old women, and then about half an hour or so later, I blacked out for a moment- just a moment, really, but it was very strange."

"Yesterday at dinner, an old lady grabbed my shoulder and I blacked out in the middle of eating- when I try and think about it too hard, it feels... fuzzy, distant, the way it does when I try to work out why I know you so well when we just met this afternoon."

"I'd bet Sam had a similar encounter- he bonded with us to the exact same degree we've bonded with each other, it seems like, and I definitely know him. Something strange is going on, Bill," Harry replied, shifting his hand from Bill's shoulder to the back of his neck, pulling him minutely closer. "I've got the strangest urge to try and find out what it is."

Bill grinned, basking in the feeling of seeing Harry be adventurous. He loved that look on Harry's face, especially since he saw it so... rarely? Bill wasn't sure where that thought had come from, but it seemed to be the same strangeness as everything else. "I'm with you. Let's figure out who messed with our heads."

\-------

"Donna?" Sam called out softly as he stepped outside again. He didn't see her, but he thought he heard a bit of noise around the corner- it might just have been the horse, but it wouldn't hurt to look.

As he rounded the corner, he realized the noise he'd heard was _crying_ \- muffled, but still distinctly someone crying. Before he could react to that realization, however, Donna came into view, her arms wrapped around the neck and chest of the horse as she cried into it's shoulder.

"I just don't know what to do- I missed him so much but how do I trust him after that?" she asked quietly. The horse nudged her gently with his nose. "I know, you don't have answers either. Bet horses don't have problems like this." She laughed a little, though there was no humor in it.

"I'm so sorry, Donna," Sam said quietly, his throat feeling raw as he tried not to cry himself. He hated that he'd hurt her so badly.

"Sam-" Donna begin, cutting herself off to wipe her eyes and compose herself. "Did you need something?"

He looked down, trying to pull his thoughts together. He needed to have the conversation he'd come out here for, not another discussion of how much he was sorry and how he missed her. "The three of us had an idea- well, Harry had an idea, but it was a great idea, so-" he paused, struggling to find a good way to begin explaining. Donna raised her eyebrows at him as he took his time thinking about it. "We were thinking we'd all help. With the baby, that is. We don't have to find out which of us is the father, and you get a few extra hands around, when possible- Harry doesn't quite know what he's doing with himself yet, and I'm staying on the island unless you really want me gone, and Bill will probably be sort of... here when he's up for it, I suppose."

Donna's eyebrows raised even higher as he spoke, and even from several feet away he could sense the annoyance begin radiating off of her again. "Wow. Did none of you think I can handle this just fine _on my own_?"

"Donna, you don't have to," he pointed out.

"I've got all of this handled, Sam. The farmhouse, the baby, repairs, _all of it_. You don't need to swoop in and rescue me," Donna snapped, storming past him.

\-------

She didn't know why that had fired her up so much, but the thought of them thinking they had any right- the thought of _Sam_  thinking he had any right to offer input into her life after he _left_ \- had flipped the switch right back from heartbreak to anger again, and as she prepared to storm away from the farmhouse entirely- maybe she'd go see Sofia or grab some dinner in the marketplace, it was getting late but she didn't want to be _here_ \- she realized Sam had stopped arguing back.

In fact, Sam was standing there, staring at where she'd been and looking like someone had slapped him with a fish- baffled and hurt.

What was she supposed to do with _that_?

She sighed, her anger suddenly leaving her, and turned back to him, stepping towards him. "Sam?" she asked softly.

"If you don't want our help-" he began, sounding like the words were being dragged out of him. "It's alright. Harry'll be disappointed, but I know I don't deserve to be in your life right now. But you should know it's not about us thinking you _need_  help. You're amazing, Donna, and you can do anything. We just _want_ to help, because- I suppose I can't speak for the other two, but I was excited to possibly be a father. But if you'd rather I just go, I will."

 _Well, now I feel like an asshole,_ Donna thought. _And a few more hands around would be nice, even if I still don't know what to do about him..._

She sighed again, stepping forward to reach out and touch his shoulder. "It couldn't hurt to try, at least- if the three of you drive me up the wall before the kid's born, she won't even know about it, after all," she joked carefully, not really ready to let her guard down yet.

"She?" Sam replied with a faint smile.

"I've got a feeling," Donna replied, relaxing a little and smiling back. "It's going to take time before I can really trust you again, Sam, but I don't want to cut you out of the baby's life if you're going to be here. I just... don't like people making assumptions about what I can handle."

"And what if I assume you're an absolute goddess who can handle anything she puts her mind to?" Sam teased, starting to relax as well.

"Well," Donna replied, laughing a little, "is it really an assumption if it's true?"

"Don't worry, Donna, I'm in no danger of underestimating you."

\-------

Somehow that conversation had made everything look easier to Donna's eyes, lighter and more comfortable. Or maybe she was just reacting to Sam's presence the way she had during the summer, letting his charming grin and easygoing nature lull her into comfort even though she still wasn't sure she was ready to let him in again. She still hurt too much to trust him, but she could feel that trying to melt away already, the pain of him lying to her easily forgotten in the face of him smiling at her.

She didn't know what she was going to do about that. She did know one thing, though- these three knew each other well enough to joke around like that in front of her, and she couldn't figure out _how_  that had happened.

"So how did you meet Bill and Harry?" she asked as she led Sam back into the farmhouse. She carefully kept her voice light, even though the more she thought about it, the more unnerving it was. "You guys all seem pretty close."

"Ran into each other on the docks- the ferry had sailed off without us. Harry and I, that is, we both got there just slightly too late," Sam replied. "It's strange, I know, but we really just met a few hours before we got here. And yet as soon as we started talking, I felt like I'd known them for... years."

"Huh." Donna frowned. "And Bill was, of course, right there to help a couple guys stranded without a ride?"

"Yeah. He'd been on his way here already- he said something about the island calling people back, like that just... happens sometimes, and it does sound like what happened to all three of us. Harry apparently left school for this, and I know I felt like I just... needed to be here. More than usual, at least."

"More than usual?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

Sam shrugged, stepping towards the stairs and carefully testing them with one foot like he still wasn't quite sure they'd hold. "I missed you. I certainly didn't _want_ to be in New York, it's just... where I was."

Donna suddenly couldn't bear to look at him, turning her face away and staring at the half-fixed wreckage of the stairs. "If you missed me so much, why'd it take this long for you to come _back_?" she snapped. She hadn't... quite meant to say that, but his words had hit her like a blow to the stomach, and she'd reacted before she could even think. Maybe it was better to get that feeling out into the open, though- better he knows how much he hurt her.

Sam made a noise- strange and almost wounded sounding- and his hand found her shoulder, resting gently against her shoulderblade. "It _didn't_ ," he replied, sounding broken again. "You weren't _here_. I came right back and you weren't _here_ , Donna, and the old lady at the bar said you'd gone off on a boat with someone, not to wait for you... I never meant to leave for good."

Donna looked up at that, startled. "You- really?"

"Really," Sam murmured. "I only went home because it seemed like the best way to.... I went to break things off with Lorraine. I thought if I did it in person, you could have a bit of space before I tried to apologize again, and Lorraine could shout at me in person for being... I think the wording was selfish idiot, but I was jet-lagged, so."

It took every ounce of self-control Donna had not to grab him and kiss him right then and there, but she knew it wouldn't be fair to either of them to start up again when she still wasn't quite ready to _trust_  again. Nevertheless, she could feel the tension rising between them, the sharp need to touch him building in her chest as they stared at each other.

"Oh, good, you're here- did he tell you?" Harry asked suddenly, his head and shoulders leaning over the railing from above them. He quickly padded down the stairs to join them.

Donna sighed in relief, grinning up at Harry as he descended the stairs, grateful for the distraction. "If you mean your adorably ridiculous three dads plan, yes, he explained it," she replied, "and like I told Sam, I don't know if it'll work out but it's worth trying. After all, if it isn't working, we should know before the baby's old enough to tell the difference anyway."

"That's true," Harry replied. He grinned back at her. "And if it is working, well, I hear extra hands with a toddler is always useful."

"God, I still can't quite believe this is happening," Sam commented, grinning that lottery-winner grin again. Donna hadn't quite expected him to be so excited about this, but it was... nice.

Everything about this would be so much easier to think through if she could just stop feeling so _warm_  whenever Sam did anything remotely likable. How was she supposed to resist him long enough to think when he still made her feel like this? She shook herself, focusing on Harry again.

"Since that's settled, and it's getting late, I think we should find you boys places to _sleep_ tonight- since I highly doubt there's room on Bill's boat, with it's one functional bed- and then go down to the market for dinner," she said decisively, trying to keep herself focused on anything _but_ the way Sam's hand was still warm and comforting on her shoulder. "There's a couple rooms upstairs that I'm... pretty sure won't leak if it rains, if you wanted to stay here tonight."

"Oh, we saw those- Bill's up there being nosy, he said something about thinking this might be one of his aunt's properties on the island. Apparently she has at least three, not counting her son's bar," Harry replied. He leaned back to shout up the stairs to Bill, "Bill-"

Just as he began, Bill began scrambling down the stairs. "There's a goat on the roof, and it was _staring_  at me through the window, and I'm pretty sure it's that same goat that tried to eat my clothes off of me once, so I don't... want to be up there right now," he babbled.

Harry looked at him, visibly holding back a grin. "Donna was just saying we could stay in the farmhouse tonight. Since your boat apparently only has one bed?"

"Technically two-" Bill began.

"But the other is basically a storage shelf," Donna quipped, interrupting him. "And he doesn't clear it off well even when he's _trying_ to."

Bill laughed quietly. "Well, I'm alright staying here as long as someone makes sure that goat isn't going to eat our things while we sleep- or headbutt us in horrifying places. The weather's going to turn sometime in the night, I think, and I don't want to be on my boat when it does, anyway- I have a hard time sleeping through a storm on the water."

Donna nodded decisively. "Good. Go put your things upstairs and then we'll go get dinner in the marketplace, and hopefully when we get back, the goat will have just... left."

All of them nodded, glancing at each other to see if anyone was willing to volunteer to run off the goat, and finding, instead, that they all knew full well that the goat in question was not likely to be run off. Or possibly that they were all scared of a goat, which Donna reasoned had to be ridiculous- it was just a goat, after all. Even if it did have a tendency to chase people for no good reason.

\-------

They had settled in at a little table at a restaurant across the marketplace from the bar, a little place that Harry remembered Donna's friend Rosie being smitten with back in August. Donna had grabbed him and pulled him into the booth next to her when they sat down- apparently she was trying to put a little distance between her and Sam for the moment- so Harry was sitting across from Bill and having a terrible time following the story Donna had been telling while they ate, because every time she mentioned something interesting or funny, Bill _smiled_  at her.

Harry was aware he was in trouble, but he'd've given his left arm for Bill to smile at him like that right now. For all that he knew the man, as inexplicable as it was, he didn't know if he had even a hint of a chance with him, and he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"-and so there I am, sitting on the bar trying to teach Headbanger here to do his own eyeliner, completely ignoring the goat chasing Rosie around the tables, Sofia trying to chase the goat out of the bar, Tanya standing on the bar throwing things at the goat, _and_ the band laughing their asses off.... and the goat rams Harry's barstool, knocks him over, which knocks me over, which knocks Tanya off the bar because she was right beside me, and we all fall onto Rosie like a bunch of glitter-and-sequin covered dominoes... and that's when people start coming in to watch us perform," Donna was saying. "So roughly the whole island has seen us in an embarrassing but sparkly heap, and that was their first impression of Harry."

Harry instantly regretted managing to tune into the story Donna had been telling. "I'm not sure it was necessary to remind me of that," he muttered, trying to resist the urge to hide his face. "Though at least the absurdity of that wasn't my fault, for once. Usually I manage to embarrass myself just fine without help from a goat."

"You worry too much, Harry," Bill replied. "Aside from incidents as ridiculous as that, most people don't really remember the embarrassing things other people do, and the things they do remember, they don't necessarily judge you for."

"Easy for you to say," Harry replied, smiling at Bill so that he'd know Harry was just joking with him. "People don't generally judge men who look like some sort of golden ocean god for anything."

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry could see Sam mouthing the words _'golden ocean god'_ at Donna, and he could feel Donna shaking with contained laughter beside him, but Harry, for once, felt no shame for what he'd said.

...Probably that would kick in later. But right now, Bill was smiling at him, and Harry didn't care about anything else.

"Well, we can't all be the prince of punk rock, Headbanger," Bill retorted, grinning. "Besides, anyone who tried to judge you would get distracted by how well that jacket suits you, I imagine."

Harry froze, watching him, his face heating rapidly as he tried to figure out how to react to that statement. "I, ah..." he began, ducking his head to try and hide the blush he was sure had covered his face. "You like it?" He grinned shyly up at Bill, not entirely sure he wanted to look but he knew he had to follow this through if he was going to have a chance with him.

Bill was smiling at him still, softer now. "Course, Harry. You look good," he replied, gently nudging Harry's ankle with one foot.

\-------

Donna watched as the two of them stared into each other's eyes for what felt like several minutes, long enough that she'd suppressed the laughter at Harry's description of Bill (and the face Sam made in response, which was honestly the funniest part in her mind) and had been exchanging glances with Sam for some time, each look communicating more than they could in words at the moment.

Eventually, Sam broke the moment the other two were having by attempting to slide Bill's plate- which he hadn't touched while flirting with Harry- away from him, which prompted a brief, playful scuffle between the two as Bill stole his food back, including bickering that she couldn't quite keep track of as they spoke over each other and she and Harry laughed at the two of them, leaning on each other to stay upright.

The scuffle ended with Sam holding his hands up, conceding. "I didn't think you wanted anymore, since you were too busy making eyes at Harry," he quipped.

Bill laughed, digging into his food again. "If you want more food, order your own," he replied.

"I might," Sam responded, "but I still say if you plan on eating something, you should _eat_  it, not ignore it to stare at someone. You can even stare _and_  eat, God knows I've managed it."

"Constantly," Donna interjected, grinning. "Generally with the sappiest expression in the world."

"Which is exactly how you deserve to be looked at." Sam grinned at her, leaning back in his seat and watching her with exactly the expression she'd just described.

Harry shook his head, grinning. "Everyone at this table is ridiculous, and I honestly can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be."

Donna glanced at him, smiling. She felt warm, almost cozy, as she watched the three of them interact and goof off with each other, and she realized she wouldn't change a thing about this moment, at least. "Yeah. Me, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Fan is a Swedish curse word meaning devil, and (according to my research, which may be wrong) used in the way one would use damn or fuck- ie, a general interjection of varying intensity. (I don't speak a lick of Swedish, so I hope all of that is correct. I looked it up, but...)


End file.
